Stepparenting Newsletter

Today, countless women have shattered the glass ceiling in their business and professional lives. Climbing the ladder is not easy; it is the result of significant years of hard work, serious dedication to education and advanced job training, and a laser beam focus that often puts a personal life on hold. Invariably, single, successful, career women suddenly find themselves in love, and often the partner of their dreams is a divorced man with kids.

Becoming an instant stepmom is sometimes the most challenging task a successful career woman will take on, and even though she has earned and enjoyed a fulfilling and accomplished professional life, the complex demands of step parenting can confuse, frustrate, and create a lack of confidence in even the most capable and talented career women. Unlike their professional lives, they are generally unprepared for the pitfalls and missteps so common in this new personal relationship dynamic and for the first time, many feel at sea with feelings and issues and challenges that are unexpected and perplexing.

In the struggle that can be isolating and self defeating, women ask many questions: What exactly is the role of step mother? Should I be a friend or a disciplinarian? Is it normal to feel frustrated about having to share a new husband with demanding kids? And what about the ex spouse? And how do you figure out money issues? How do I juggle the job, the new marriage, and time for myself and still feel balanced and in control? And will this ever be fun and fulfilling?

Like the skilled professionals they are, career women look to experts for answers and guidance but often find nothing except a clutter of parenting and step mom books that don't address their unique and specific experience. Fortunately, a successful career woman who became instant sepmom to three young children has written the book she wished she had available when she started her amazing journey from single, successful industry leader to being a rookie in the bullpen of step mothering.

A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher is the definitive guide that speaks the language and describes the shared experience of career women. And, as it addresses every important issue about being a step mom, the book combines a real live perspective, a positive attitude, and a practical approach that focuses on solutions, never defeat or negative compromise. Her best selling book is based on her own lived experiences and important contributions from experts in the field, adult step children, and other respected career women turned step mothers. She writes with understanding, compassion, transparency and business-like clarity.

The book is chapter specific and the recurring theme is the utilization of practical assets from a successful professional life in the new job of step mothering. Jacquelyn focuses on organization, goal setting, negotiation, dealing with difficult co workers, delaying gratification for long term success, networking problem solving, creative brainstorming and team building. Each chapter starts with a Career Girl's Personal Assistant Note that highlights specific challenges and opportunities and helps frame the plan for reaching the goals around each issue presented...just like in the professional world. Every chapter ends with Discussion Topics for Two that essentially form the structure for action steps that will make the biggest difference in creating a happy healthy blended family where everyone feels loved, valued, connected, and hopeful, moving forward. This could describe The Payoff Jacquelyn describes in the last chapter.

One of the most powerful concepts in the book is comparing a new job to the new family. In a new job, “you must learn the culture before you can be effective”. The learning curve is steep and it's essential to spend time, to build new relationships, to ask questions, to understand the dynamics of the company, and in return, share information about yourself so the new workplace can know you and trust you. The basic professional skills of listening and learning are equally important in a family as in a company.